We all need a little help in knowing what to do sometimes…
I’d like to think that I’m an awful decision maker, BUT, I know that’s not true about myself. I’ve seen myself make quick, decisive choices from time to time, so it’s not that I can’t do it.
How then, do we tap into that decisiveness all of the time? Maybe making decisions was never really about knowing what to do… but more about understanding how we make decisions and applying that same thinking – every time.
Maybe a little bit easier said than done… especially when you’re making life-altering decisions. But, I too, have been faced with some pretty gut-wrenching choices to make and here’s some heart advice that has actually worked:
You Can’t F*ck This Up:
If you read no further, please hear this. Take a deep breath, pinch your arm. You’re human. You will most definitely make mistakes, but you absolutely cannot mess up so much that you actually fail. With that being said, the decision that is wavering over your head can be viewed with this perspective: even your “wrong” choice, is the right choice. Why? Two reasons:
- Because you’ll make it the right choice. Even when you’re dead wrong, you will find a way to make whatever you chose, the best choice. Every time.
- Because you are not that powerful and you are ridiculously loved.
So relax. As much as you can. Because you really cannot mess this up. God knew it would come to this, and it’s okay. There is always a plan. There is always grace.
The 70% Rule
If you are 70% sure, go with that choice. Why? Because 70% is a lot. It’s closer to sure than unsure. Things will fall in place enough to make up that other 30% later. Don’t wait for 100% all of the time… sometimes we have to have faith that a little bit sure is sure enough.
Who Are You Deciding For?
CALLING ALL PEOPLE PLEASERS. But really, this is Your life. I capitalized the y because You are a person. Please yourself before you please others and sometimes this magical thing happens where they end up being pleased too *everybody wins*
It is not selfish to put yourself at the top of your decision-making-filtration-system. And if you’ve been told that it is, the person that told you that is wishing that they could be more selfish.
There is absolutely a time and place to deny your needs, wants, desires and put someone ELSE first. But if this is your default mode, you’re going to experience something called BURNOUT.
Who’s Really Deciding Here?
Here’s some advice about advice: do not go searching for advice from someone who’s life you do NOT envy or feel inspired by (aka – someone’s life you wouldn’t want) and do NOT go searching for advice from someone who is impacted by the outcome of your decision.
Would You Choose This Again?
What would you pay for the things you’re waffling on? What would you sacrifice for it? How bad do you want it? Would you choose it again later?
If you didn’t already have it, what would you do to get it? Nothing..? Decision made.
Would you choose this career that you’re considering leaving, again? Would you choose this marriage if you weren’t already in it? How much would you pay for one choice over the other? Give your choices some value… some weight.
In the world of human design (it’s a thing, google it), yes or no questions better trigger your intuitive reaction than open-ended questions would.
So phrase your big decision in the form of simple yes or no questions. Get really quiet and see what your immediate reaction is.
The Pillow Trick:
Another way to test your gut-reaction is to write down all of the possible outcomes of your decision onto separate pieces of paper. Blindly choose one and place it under your pillow before you go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning, look at the choice that you selected and read the crap out of your reaction; how does that choice make you feel? Are you disappointed? Sometimes this helps to know where your heart is at in a situation.
To yourself and especially to other people. You know in your heart why you’ve made the choices that you’ve made, the paths you’ve taken, the decisions you’ve went with – and that is ENOUGH. In the same way that “no” is a complete sentence, your decision does not come with an explanation.
Sometimes decisions can look really bad from other’s perspective. But they are not in your shoes and they do not have to walk out the decisions that you do or don’t make. So get rid of the notion that you need to explain yourself… because you don’t.
In addition, stop waiting for others to get on board with your choices or to agree with what you want. If you see beauty in something or if you have a vision for something, you don’t have time to wait for other people to open their eyes to it. They may never!
Take YOUR Time.
Don’t wait for others, but do wait for yourself. Test out the waters, wait a full lunar cycle, sleep on it, whatever you have to do! While you can’t mess up, you do want to follow that feeling of peace as closely as possible. So take some time to shed light on which direction that’s in.
There is no peace like the peace that comes with knowing that your decision-making is over. Whether you went with a good choice or a great choice, there is a level of freedom that’s attached to choosing SOMETHING.
Don’t settle. Beau Taplin said that “settling for something that doesn’t make you happy is like diving under water for air.” So, don’t settle. You have everything already in you to make the right choice for your life. And remember, it’s not so much about the decision itself – but more so how you got there.
You can’t f*ck this up : There’s no wrong choice
Who are you deciding for?
Get objective advice.
What’s it’s worth?
Yes or No?
The Pillow Trick